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Archive for the ‘set back’ Category

Hey everybody! How is your week going? Mine has been pretty busy and a little confusing. I haven’t been posting because of my confusion 😉

It all started this past Saturday evening. My stomach started feeling like~well, I don’t know what it felt like, but it wasn’t good! Let’s just say I almost ended up going to the ER. I was in SO much pain I hyperventilated really bad and thought I was going to meet my maker~not to mention scared the bajeebers out of my poor hubby who was trying his best to get me to relax and breathe. I actually got mad at him at one point for telling me to breath because of course I WANTED to breathe! It kind of reminded me of being in labor, only there was no cute little baby to reward me at the end!

So, obviously I made it through that episode, but things just haven’t been right and I’m not sure why. I talked to my Dr. and he said to stop taking calcium citrate with magnesium. He was thinking the magnesium in it was the problem. I stopped taking it and still~something is not right. Way too many trips to the bathroom (tmi)! I know it’s not the stomach flu that seems to be floating around the world because I don’t feel ‘sick’. My gut is just not happy 😦 I keep wondering if maybe it’s the beloved coconut bread I have been eating so I am going to ‘try’ really hard NOT to eat any coconut flour today. I WILL be very SAD 😦 if it turns out that I am having trouble with coconut flour. It does have lots of fiber in it though.

I haven’t had any spectacular meals to show you because, frankly, I’m at a loss as to what to eat at the moment. Hopefully, things will be back to normal ASAP. My Dr. did say that I could eat some rice or oats if I feel like I need to. He isn’t totally against me eating grains at this point. He also said I could use a tiny bit of honey as long as I don’t go wild with it 🙂 I was going to make some Pumpkin Coconut Flour muffins that call for honey, but I guess that will have to wait. Maybe some rice is just what my tummy needs~who knows~.

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Do any of you remember that old song called ‘Won’t you take me to Funky Town’? I remember like yesterday the year I got that record for Christmas. Yes, that was before the beloved CD’s, i-pods etc. I loved playing that record on my good ol’ fashion record player. Some of you may be too young to remember that song, but it was a huge hit back then.

So, this past week I have been in Funky Town! Now, I’m singing ‘Won’t you get me out of Funky Town’?!! I have had NO desire to blog or be transparent with anyone (except a lovely fellow blogger who has been SO kind to let me e-mail her with my woes 🙂 ). What can I say? Holidays are HARD! It seems like everything is centered around food–and food has not felt like my friend lately. I have been trying to follow the Anti-Candida Diet and was very successful–for 11 days. Then, I got on a slippery slope that I have had trouble getting off of. Eleven glorious days of NO cheating and then BOOM! What happened? I have no idea, other than sugar won 😦 Ricki, I think I am back to day 1 !

Now, it’s time to get back on the wagon and hang on for dear life! This Anti-Candida thing is a wild ride that I would much rather NOT go on, but I don’t really have a choice. Who knew that yeasty beasties could be SO stubborn. I’m pretty stubborn, but I think this takes the cake–literally! I would love to have a piece of cake!!

This slippery slope has led to another slippery slope that I MUST get off of–NOW!! You see, I have this pattern. I try REALLY hard to do the right thing, I fail, I get angry with myself=restricting. My rational thinking this week has been ‘It is better to not eat at all than to eat and take a chance on the sugar/gluten monster winning’. Restricting can make everything seem under control–for a moment.  Problem is, my gut starts SCREAMING for food, I get light headed, I get depressed, I get angry because I’m hungry etc.

So, what do I do when I am really not loving food but am surrounded by it everywhere I go? I just have to do the best I can. That’s all I can do. I don’t know what tomorrow is going to look like. I don’t have a clue if I’m going to be able to fight the cravings when they come. I don’t know what to take to eat when I go to gatherings. I don’t know if this yeast will EVER go away!  About the only thing I DO know is that God gave me grace to get through 11 days and HIS grace does not run out!  I have to cling to that with everything in me. I have NO hope apart from HIM!

I hope you all are enjoying this Holiday season. Remember, it’s NOT about the food or the gifts! The only reason we can celebrate this Christmas is because Christ was born to come and save us from ourselves! I need HIM everyday. I am a hopeless case without Him 😉

MERRY CHRISTMAS

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I just want to warn you, I am in a horrific slump!! Remember in my last post how I was saying that I did NOT cheat at my son’s birthday? Well, all that came crashing down Friday night!! Birthday cake sitting on the table for 3 stinkin’ days is NEVER a good thing. Yes, I went WAY off of my diet! Yes, I made myself sick–not from how much I ate, but WHAT I ate (stuff I am allergic to). So, Saturday was spent trying to recover. Then, do you think I learned my lesson? Apparently not because I did the same thing Saturday night!! UGH! I went to bed buried in guilt and feeling like a complete failure and woke up with illness staring me in the face (and gut:). I felt like all the progress I made the first week of my diet was for nothing. I DID feel like what the ND told me to do WAS working! Now, I am starting all over. I HATE starting over!!

I think I know one thing that caused my BIG slip ups. Oatgurt has been one of the foods that I was filling up on and enjoying immensely. Well, I realized on Thursday that it was ferociously feeding my candida problem!! OMG! Oatgurt, I thought you were my friend! So, I cut it out and my poor tummy was feeling pretty lonely. My foods are SO limited right now, and I needed that to help keep me full! I can’t stay full on spinach and kale my friends!

Yesterday, I tried to eat more fat with raw homemade coconut milk and raw homemade sunbutter. That didn’t work either because too much fat is hard on my tummy.

So, where am I today? Well, up until 4pm, I had nothing but green juices (and I do mean green–no apple or carrot for this girl). Then, I had some lettuce wraps with homemade kraut, sprouts, green onions, and raw seed mix.

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I am trying to pull myself together. I have tried to stay very positive about my food, or lack thereof, but some days I just can’t do it! I will be honest and say that this diet stinks out loud. It is NOT fun and it is NOT easy. I want to cry a lot. The first few days weren’t so bad, but there are only so many ways to eat spinach, kale, zucchini etc.

I am also reminding myself that GOD is my strength!!! I can’t do this on my own! The Bible says that He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me!! It comforts me to know that HE knows what I am going through even when my family can not even begin to grasp how hard this is. They really do try though:)

Okay, enough belly aching (literally). It’s time to let God scrape me up off the floor and brush me off like a good daddy does:) It makes me want to cry just thinking of how HE ‘kisses’ our ‘boo-boo’s’. I can crawl up in His lap and cry all I want to. He never tires of my belly aching or my falling down. He is SO gracious and merciful to me:)

“I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I HAVE HOPE: Because of the Lord’s great love we are NOT consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.”    Lam.3:19-24

I think I’m going to go for a short walk. Already had my nap for the day:) See you guys later and I hope you are all doing well! Thanks for reading and letting me be myself in the midst of it not looking so good:)

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I am running a little late getting my menu made and posted. I have had a pretty major set back with my stomach these last few days. I think it all started with some ground turkey I was eating. I should have known better than to eat it because on the package it said ‘with natural flavoring’. I have since read on the SCD web-site that ‘natural flavoring’ can mean just about anything and it is illegal on the SCD. I have learned my lesson well! I also have discovered that I can not handle spaghetti squash. Needless to say, I am still paying for my mistakes and today has been a pretty painful day:( Today, I have been eating very little variety and things that I know I can normally handle. Problem is, I think my body forgot that I could handle them.

This weeks menu swap is being hosted my Kim at Gluten Free is Life. She has chosen squash for the ingredient of the week. I will NOT be having spaghetti squash but am looking forward to trying acorn squash after my stomach decides to be normal again. I have also been dying to cook a pumpkin and use it for something. Just haven’t decided what yet. This menu is mainly for the rest of my family. I may be eating turkey and applesauce all week until I feel ‘normal’ again.

Monday: turkey breast, green beans(fresh, not canned), mashed potatoes for everyone else

Tuesday: Meat/vegetable soup (I will not attempt this. I’ll stick with turkey:)

Wednesday: lean sirloin burgers(for me ?), acorn squash(for me), chips(for everyone else)

Thursday: leftovers

Friday: pizza (probably not for me)

Dessert: maybe an SCD legal pumkin pie

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